OF TEA MEMSAHIBS, CREEPY CRAWLIES AND OTHER CRITTERS….

When my friend in the city had hysterics over a lizard which had wandered into her flat, I realized what a different attitude most of us ‘Tea’ ladies have towards ‘creepy crawlies’ and other creatures. I, for one, have a ‘live and let live’ attitude towards lizards. In fact, I think they’re very useful creatures to have in the house, as they gobble up all the pesky insects they can curl their tongue around! They are otherwise quite harmless. The only time I took exception to a lizard was when it fell ‘phlat’ on the back of my neck early one morning as I lay sleeping. It was like being slapped with a cold, cold hand! Not the best of wake-up calls! However, before the advent of phones, TVs and other mod cons, I’m sure many a memsahib welcomed the friendly ‘tik-tik’ greeting of the gecko each evening!
Moving on to snakes, most of us know that some are non-poisonous, and thus, harmless. Even the poisonous ones are left alone by us as long as they do the same! I’m reminded of the occasion when a young reporter from Mumbai was visiting our estate. We were all invited to the Burra Bungalow for tea. At that time, I was having trouble over baby snakes sneaking into our bedroom through cracks on the floor. The Burro memsahib enquired solicitously whether I had had to get rid of any more baby snakes recently, while I politely asked her if she had found any more families of snakes under her bath tub. I turned to offer some snacks to the guest, only to see him staring at us as if we were creatures from outer space! He must have thought we were either mad, talking about such dangerous creatures as if they were a minor menace, or pulling his leg!
One evening, after a football tea at our bungalow, the men were inside, indulging in some serious elbow-lifting while the ladies sat in the open verandah. Suddenly, gatecrashers to the party, in the form of large crickets, were all over the verandah! They climbed up ladies’ legs, causing consternation and rather interesting dance steps! Some ladies ran inside, but the rest started kicking the crickets off the verandah,on to the lawn, thus playing some football of their own! Let me assure all you insect-rights activists out there- no harm was done to the crickets, who happily went on to make holes in my lawn!
Another creature that can cause involuntary dancing, is the leech. No one likes to have such a cold, creepy bloodsucker attached to her person! A friend of mine once, inadvertently, afforded sundry people quite an eyeful of her shapely legs, while trying to get rid of a particularly clingy leech. I suppose ‘Modesty’ can go to the ‘Blaizes’ when a leech is stuck to your leg! Still and all, in an encounter between a memsahib and a leech, it’s the latter which curls up and dies!
That scourge of the household- the cockroach! As clean as one keeps the bungalow, one will come across this nocturnal visitor at least once! So, what does the memsahib do? She picks up a slipper, and, wham! What about ‘Hit’, you ask? Well, since cockroaches are not regular visitors in the bedroom or bathroom, one doesn’t usually keep that handy.
Talking about bathrooms, I once had a ‘peeping tom’ there…only, he was blind! It was a mole. What a time I had trying to chase it out of the back door! My husband slept on, oblivious. The next day, however, he did mention the peculiar squealing sounds that had emanated from the loo the previous night! I said, nonchalantly, “I chased away a peeping tom….”
Old bungalows usually have rats or mice nesting in the ceiling. They probably have a long genealogy, going back to The Good Old Days! When one of these cross our path, we calmly jump on to the nearest piece of furniture, and call the bearer! From our vantage point, we watch the ‘alarums and excursions’ on the part of both mouse and man, sometimes issuing directions or offering suggestions, but not budging till the rodent is out of the way!
A mass of wriggling worms may be a disgusting sight to some, but to us Tea ladies, their vermicompost is a good source of nutrition to the soil of our flower beds and vegetable gardens, so, “You worm!” may just be a compliment, coming from us!
Furry caterpillars,slugs, snails, small four-legged ‘critters’ and strange insects that even an entomologist may not recognize…. These are some of the inhabitants of our world. Not all are pests, though. Some, like the colourful butterflies flitting from flower to flower, the bright little ‘ladybirds, landing gently on your hand, and the phosphorescent fireflies flashing through the dusk, help us to appreciate the beauty of Nature.
There is a chameleon which lives in the Azalea shrub outside my bedroom.I like to think that it has a friendly gleam in its beady little eye when I open my door every morning and watch it soaking up the early morning sunlight. We look at each other for a moment, then I nod in greeting and start my day. Maybe it’s my ‘Karma Chameleon’?!

- Sarita Dasgupta